This is the conclusion of the “How to Be Happy” series and the beginning of a new series.
Obstacles to love are things that take away from our otherwise happy relationships. They are also things that negatively affect our ability to have connection and/or emotional intimacy (with God, ourselves, and others) in the first place.
I seem like a very happy person and I am most of the time. It is part of my personality. Nobody is happy 100% of the time, but I think 80% of the time is a realistic expectation. Although I am very happy, I struggled to overcome depression, chronic stress, and other mental, emotional and relationship issues. There have been prolonged periods of my life when I was miserable about 40-50% of the time.
I started studying happiness 6 years ago because everything I was trying still left me wanting. I was living the gospel which is “the most important step you can take in finding greater joy and happiness.” (The Hunt for Happiness by David Dickson, Ensign 2019) So why was I still struggling to enjoy life and be happy at home?
I have a lot to learn, but I want to share what I can up to this point.
In the previous four posts of this “How To Be Happy” series I suggest that when the focus of our lives is on having faith, hope, and love (for God, ourselves and others) the result is a rich social and cultural life, purpose, adventure, stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging, and continually increasing light of Christ in our lives. I suggest that these things are necessary for happiness. I am talking lasting happiness as opposed to bursts of happy. This conclusion was based on the “Rat Park” study, many books I have read, and Gospel teachings. (see How To Be Happy – Part 1)
However, if you are trying to have faith, hope, and love God, yourself and others… if you are trying to have a rich social and cultural life, purpose, adventure, attachment, etc. but you still don’t feel happy at least 80% of the time— THIS BLOG IS FOR YOU.
Jeff and me. 2019 
Jacob and Me. 2019
Here are things that block us from happiness when what we are doing would normally bring us happiness. I address these topics in a new series called “Obstacles to Love”.
- Chemical and Biological Imbalances/Mental Health
- Enmity
- Stress
- Lack of Faith or Trust
- Poor Boundaries
- Poor Communication
- Negativity and Limiting Beliefs
- Distractions and Out of Balance Priorities
We Need Grace to Overcome Love Obstacles
To overcome love obstacles we need our Savior, Jesus Christ. All of our efforts are a drop in the ocean compared to what God does for us. Joining with God in a partnership brings daily miracles in our lives.
In the Book of Mormon, when Nephi’s family was starving in the wilderness he asked for God’s help in prayer and then he made a bow and arrow out of wood. (1 Nephi 16:23).
God wants us to ask for His help and continually seek him as we “go and do.” (1 Nephi 3:7) He will inspire us, lead us, and empower us to overcome love obstacles. We might not overcome all our obstacles 100%. But, we can expect to change with God’s help so that we can be happy.
Thank you!
Thanks man.