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To summarize Part 1, we are happy when we truly connect with God, ourselves and others. This is because the natural consequence of connecting with God, ourselves, and others is more light of Christ in our lives as well as a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure, stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging. Let’s look at how these things come about by loving God.

Happiness in Loving God

In God we find our most important identity. We are His children. Also, our most important purpose is also found in God. It is this, He wants us to help Him bless others and bring them to His Son. In practicing religion I find belonging in my church, purpose in serving, and strong cultural and social life. God wants us to feel great attachment (affection and fondness) to Him. As I learn about and worship God with my family and church I also feel a deeper attachment with them.

Constant Connection

We can have a constant stream of love from God to us. Unlike our other relationships, He is always available to us. “Draw near unto me and I will draw near unto you; seek me diligently and ye shall find me” (D&C 88:63); “they may always have his Spirit to be with them,” (Moroni 4:3); “if ye do this ye shall always be filled with the love of God,” (Mosiah 4:12).

The Unique Power Of Love in Christ

God’s greatest show of love to us was giving us His Son, Jesus Christ (John 3:16). His sacrifice to save us from death and sin was filled with love. When we realize how much Christ loved us in taking our suffering on Himself it motivates us to follow Him. Because of His atonement we can all be forgiven and find the strength to forgive others.

Ways to Connect with God

the gospel of jesus christ

The Gospel of Jesus Christ teaches us how to love God, ourselves, and others. In fact, entering into and keeping covenants with Christ is the most effective way to connect with God ourselves and others.

Have Faith

Because God is perfect we can trust Him perfectly. “God is love.” (1 John 4:16) Having faith in God (trusting Him) is part of loving Him. We can trust God’s will, wisdom, and timing. I believe everything is happening for us, not to us. All bad will be turned into something good for us as we exercise faith. (“Search diligently, pray always, and be believing, and all things shall work together for your good,” D&C 90:24) We can trust that He will compensate for all our pain and loss. Everything will work out in the end. (And if it hasn’t worked out yet— that means it’s not the end yet.)

Keep Commandments and Repent

We show God we love Him by keeping the commandments (John 14:15), repenting, and seeking guidance from Him each day. “Wickedness never was happiness.” (Alma 41:10) When we repent we are reconciled (to restore harmony) with God. “…we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, being reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.” (Romans 5:10) “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, reconcile yourselves to the will of God, and not to the will of the devil and the flesh; and remember, after ye are reconciled unto God, that it is only in and through the grace of God that ye are saved.” (2 Nephi 10:24)

Give God Our Will

Giving our will to Him and dedicating our lives to Him are acts of love on our part. In my post Codependency and Joy In My Posterity I talk about the natural man and the spiritual man. The natural man is self-seeking, anxious, and rebellious. The spiritual man is one that seeks God’s will and takes the Spirit as his guide, living by the Spirit. When we overcome the natural man we live by the Spirit instead of by our own flesh. We also live by God’s will instead of our will. (I also talk about this in my post Feel Like a Good Mom, No Guilt.)

Spend Time With Him

Prayer, meditation, study, and worship services can help us connect with God and seek His guidance. This is loving God and we will feel His love through his Spirit as we do these things humbly. Worship also invites his power into our lives. Praying for the Lord’s help and for charity will make the biggest difference in our lives. All of our best efforts are like a drop in the ocean compared to His grace and what He does for us. But He does want our best efforts, our whole heart. Even at work or doing daily chores we can continually talk to God and be mindful of His blessings. Doing so invites His Spirit to be with you.

Enjoy His Creations

The natural world around us also shows us God’s love. No matter how separated from God we feel this gift is always available to us. “…for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good” (Matthew 5:45). When we take the time to be outside and appreciate nature our thoughts are often lifted toward Divinity. We feel the peace of His Spirit. Observe the beauty of trees, flowers, landforms, and the sky.

Interact with and care for animals. Our capacity to love grows and our lives are enriched by the animals we care for.

All of God’s creations are connected by the light of Christ which is in and through everything. “He that ascended up on high, as also he descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth; Which truth shineth. This is the light of Christ. As also he is in the sun, and the light of the sun, and the power thereof by which it was made.” (D&C 88:6-7)

Recognize and Be Grateful for Blessings

Appreciating and praising Him for everything we have is another way to receive His love and be happy. Even in our most difficult times we have much to be grateful for. Every breath we breathe is from Him. It brings me great peace to have a prayer of gratitude going on in my mind throughout the day. I thank him for whatever is happening and for whatever I see.

Conclusion

God’s love is extended to all of us and He waits for us to receive it. “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.” (Revelations 3:20) As we connect daily and continuously we will increase the light of Christ in our lives. In addition, feeling His love for us makes us more capable of loving ourselves and others.

There are no affiliate links in this article. I am not a professional.

Studies on How To Be Happy

How to be happy has been the main focus of my studies for the last six or seven years. That is because I went through a period in life where I was not very happy. (See About Me and Codependency and Joy In My Posterity) Feelings such as sadness, anxiety or depression are part of life and have a purpose. However, the majority of my emotions at that time were negative with occasional bursts of happiness. It should be the other way around. After a while I learned where I was going wrong. I saw why what had worked for me since childhood wasn’t serving me anymore. This post is my own thoughts on happiness, but they are consistent (at least in part) with popular and classic experts in a variety of fields.

Some of these professionals are: Abraham Maslow (Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs); neurologist and psychologist Victor Frankle (Man’s Search for Meaning); psychiatrist, researcher, author Daniel Amen (Change Your Brain, Change Your Life); researcher Brene Brown (Daring Greatly); the “father of modern mindfulness” John Kabat-Zinn; parenting experts Jim Fay, Charles Fay and Foster Cline (Love and Logic), behavioral scientist Paul Dolan, philosopher Codependence expert and author Melody Beatte (Codependent No More), Family Therapist Douglas Dobberfuhl M.S. (Healing the Codependent Heart), motivational speaker and minister Norman Vincent Peale (The Power of Positive Thinking), Roko Belic’s popular Netflix Documentary “Happy”, and, most importantly, the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ found in the scriptures.

I believe all of these professionals (with the exception of the Lord) have part of the answer on how to be happy, but are missing important components to the bigger picture.

Rat Park

This series of articles was prompted because recently my husband told me about an interesting study on drug addiction with rats. Isolated rats in cages were given a water bottle with morphine and a water bottle without. The isolated rats consistently drank from the drugged water.

Another group of rats were also offered morphine water and plain water, but these rats lived together in “Rat Park”. Bruce K. Alexander,Professor Emeritus, Simon Fraser University described rat park as “a great big plywood box on the floor of our laboratory, fill[ed] with things that rats like, such as platforms for climbing, tin cans for hiding in, wood chips for strewing around, and running wheels for exercise.” He continues, “ Naturally we included lots of rats of both sexes, and naturally the place soon was teeming with babies.” The rats in “Rat Park” tried the drugged water, but consistently drank plain water instead. He has written about the study in The Globalisation of Addiction: A study in poverty of the spirit, Oxford University Press, 2008.

Large pine box for rats — https://www.brucekalexander.com/articles-speeches/rat-park/148-addiction-the-view-from-rat-park

My Rat Park

His study got me thinking, “What would my “Rat Park” be like?” What does my family need so we won’t feel drawn to drugs or other harmful behaviors such as compulsive shopping, gambling, overeating, social media, video games and screen time? Even positive things can be done compulsively: religion, cleaning, socializing, etc. So, do I need to fill my environment with the human equivalent of platforms, tin cans, woodchips, and running wheels? Maybe I need to have a nicer house? Maybe I need more vacations and entertainment?

These thoughts reminded me of my blog “How to Be Happy When You are Poor“. I compared my ideas in that post to Professor Alexander’s findings. Bruce R. Alexander concluded that people need “a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, and belonging“. As I pondered his study I organized my thoughts about where true happiness comes from. I agree with him, but would like to add to the answer he gives.

Father holding two-year-old's hand on a path. From How To Be Happy When You Are Poor. — My husband Wes with Daniel

My Philosophy on How To Be Happy

The key to happiness (and dealing with all the challenges of life) is to fill our lives with the love and the light of Christ by loving God, ourselves, and others. As we do these things we will have a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging, and much more.

WHAT IF A PERSON IS NOT RELIGIOUS?

Does this mean that people who do not believe in God (and specifically Jesus Christ) cannot be happy? No, there are obviously many people around the world that are happy who are not Christians or even religious.

THE LIGHT OF CHRIST

Everything good and of God is full of the light of Christ. To the degree that people live according to good and just principles they bring the light of Christ into their lives, even if they do not know where it is coming from. “The Light of Christ is the divine energy, power, or influence that proceeds from God through Christ and gives life and light to all things.” (“Light of Christ“) Even if they do not realize it, people connect with God through nature and loving his creations. The light of Christ encompasses knowledge, intelligence, love and every other positive, godly attribute. It is also the source of what we call our “conscience” and is different from the Holy Ghost.

*Split Sky By Jessie Eastland – Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=22851938*

what love is

Think of love as unity, nurturing, and connection. The highest, noblest and strongest kind of love is charity. “Charity is the pure love of Christ. It is the love that Christ has for the children of men and that the children of men should have for one another. ” Charity is “the most joyous to the soul” (see 1 Nephi 11:23).”

Series on How To Be Happy

So, our social and cultural life, purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging, and light of Christ are all found in loving God, ourselves and others. Let’s look closer at this theory. Over the next few weeks I will post 4 more blogs. They will not be a complete explanation on how to do these things. Past and future blog posts address how to love and overcome obstacles to love in more detail. Here’s what’s coming.

Until Next Time… Keep Smiling. 🙂

Category: Codependency

How To Be Happy- Part 2, Loving God