Where Happiness Comes From
Since posting Part 1 of How to Be Happy I have been reminded of something that became clear to me six years ago in the midst of my mid-life crisis/spiritual awakening. It is that everything goes back to faith, hope, and charity. I realized that my theory for happiness was lacking a distinct faith and hope element. Therefore…
We are happy when we have faith, hope and charity. I focus on the role of charity in particular as “the greatest of these is charity” (1 Cor. 13:13). The natural consequence of faith, hope, and charity is more of the light of Christ in our lives as well as a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure, stimulation, attachment, identity, belonging. Let’s look at how these things come about by loving yourself.
Love Yourself
The more whole we are as an individual, the more fully we can have faith, hope, and love for others. It is our own responsibility to see to it that we have a viable social and cultural life with purpose, adventure/stimulation, attachment, identity, and belonging. As Napoleon Hill said, “You are the master of your destiny. You can influence, direct and control your own environment. You can make your life what you want it to be.” (I would add, “with God’s grace.”)
Loving yourself is not selfish. Jesus gave the second great commandment to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matt. 22:39). When I understand that I am a child of God with “a divine nature and eternal destiny“, I feel self-respect, take care of myself, and do things that will bring me joy. I know how to do this best with God’s guidance.
PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT AND THE LIGHT OF CHRIST
There is happiness in growth. Elder D. Todd Christopherson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles put it best when he said, “we find joy in overcoming… whether it be sin, trial, weakness, or any other obstacle to happiness. This is the joy of sensing progress in the path of discipleship; the joy of ‘having received a remission of … sins, and having peace of conscience’; the joy of feeling one’s soul expand and grow through the grace of Christ.”
Growth fills our lives with the light of Christ, which encompasses knowledge, intelligence, love and every other positive, godly attribute.
KNOWLEDGE AND INTELLIGENCE
Knowledge is one form of light and can bring us great joy and open our minds to solutions to our problems. “And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” (John 8:32) We must take caution though. In 1 Corthians 8:1 Paul says, “Knowledge puffeth up, but charity edifieth.” Growth can separate us from God and others if we are proud instead of doing “all to the glory of God.” (1 Cor 10:31)
Knowledge includes much more than formal education. There is social, cognitive, psychological, emotional, spiritual, and physical learning. Most of my life I have been strong in certain areas and weak in others. Working to progress in my weak areas, as well as building my strengths, has brought me increased light and happiness.
Intelligences
Social intelligence “develops from experience with people and learning from successes and failures in social settings. It is more commonly referred to as ‘tact,’ ‘common sense,’ or ‘street smarts.'” One of the key elements of happiness is a rich social life.
Cognitive intelligence is “intellectual abilities such as logic, reason, reading, writing, analyzing and prioritizing.” These skills can be gained by taking classes, studying and practicing on our own, playing games, making executive decisions (such as in leadership) and handling the problems presented to you in everyday life. Developing cognitive intelligence can also be related to a rich cultural life.
Psychological intelligence deals with our thought patterns. This is the subject of my post How the Lord Healed my Bipolar Disorder (Psychologically).
We increase emotional intelligence by learning to recognize and regulate emotions. This is done individually through personal reflection and meditation, but it is greatly aided by practicing in interactions with others. Developing a sense of humor is part of emotional and social intelligence. Another aspect of emotional and psychological intelligence is self-control. Fulfilling our responsibilties is a key component of our happiness and strengthens our self-control.
Cindy Wigglesworth defines spiritual intelligence as , “The ability to behave with wisdom and compassion, while maintaining inner and outer peace, regardless of the situation. “ In my own words it is at least in part becoming united with God and His creations.
Physical Intelligence involves body awareness, physical health, and hygiene. These intelligences all overlap one another. It is difficult to clearly separate them. Learning what my body needed greatly aided my emotional and psychological health. (see How The Lord Healed My Bipolar Disorder (Part 1))
SOCIAL AND CULTURAL LIFE
Growing in the different intelligences listed above brings about a rich social and cultural life. A social life is connecting with others. (The subject of the next post “How To Be Happy- Part 4, Loving Others.”) Our cultural life is the things we are doing to enrich life. This includes customs and traditions of our heritage or other’s, cognitive achievements, music, the arts, etc. These things bring great happiness.
PURPOSE
We each have a unique purpose beyond that found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As we seek personal revelation and follow the desires of our hearts, our individual purposes will emerge. Maybe we feel motivated to pursue a certain career, volunteer work, service project, or hobby. I believe these aspirations come from the light of Christ and help us fulfill our individual missions in mortality. We feel great happiness when we act on these impressions. Doing so is often stimulating and involves some adventure as well.
IDENTITY
Our individual identity, beyond being children of God, is found as we pursue our individual desires and interests. Further, healthy boundaries allow us and others to be ourselves. We have our own feelings, attitudes and beliefs, behaviors, choices, values, limits, talents, thoughts, and desires. At the same time we can be one and in harmony with others and all God’s creations.
We also find our identity by being honest, true to our feelings, and sincere in what we say and do. I have found that when I focus on being honest and don’t act to please or manipulate others, my unique character shines. It can take courage sometimes to be different. But, being our true selves enables us to make a unique difference and influence for good.
STIMULATION AND ADVENTURE
We stimulate our minds, bodies, and spirits as we develop socially, cognitively, psychologically, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Developing in these different aspects is one of the most important ways we love ourselves.
Development adds adventure to our lives. It involves trying new things. We push our own limits beyond what we are already capable of what we already know.
We can also find adventure and stimulation by facing our fears. Fear and excitement trigger the same reaction in our bodies. So, if we are afraid we can simply tell ourselves that we are excited. I recently tried things I was afraid to do as a child. (Like going down the highest water slide at the water-park and riding a roller coaster). It was invigorating!
FAITH, HOPE, AND YOU
Because of our faith in Christ, we can have faith in ourselves. We can believe that we can overcome challenges with His grace. Because of Christ’s grace we can have the hope that our capacities to love, learn, believe, and act will increase.
As you love yourself enough to take care of ourself, increase in intelligence, and pursue our purpose the light of Christ grows in our life and our happiness increases. I have the assurance (hope) that, “That which is of God is light; and he that receiveth light, and continueth in God, receiveth more light; and that light groweth brighter and brighter until the perfect day.” (D&C 50:24)